Saturday, May 25, 2013

Faith and Fertility

I've been thinking about writing this post for a long time, and finally decided I am ready for the world to know!

As everyone knows, we are pregnant. Getting here was a rough road filled with tears, many many prayers, doubts and fears. It all started March of 2012, Jason and I decided that it was time to start trying for a baby. We were both so excited and were sure it would happen right away. When it didn't, I was a little disappointed, but knew it would happen soon. As the summer came and went, I still wasn't pregnant, but we still weren't too discouraged because we knew it could take a while. Then in September of 2012, I went to my routine OBGYN visit and he said there might be something wrong since I'm not ovulating routinely. He left it at that and told me he wanted to see me in a month. At the time, Jason was in Maryland for training and I was terrified. That's every woman's fear! Especially given such little information and told to wait a month.

So, I waited the month, went back and was told I had a cyst on one of my ovaries. I needed to wait another month to see if it shrinks. If it doesn't, I would have to have it surgically removed. Thankfully, it was shrunk down and disappeared and I was told to start a medication called Clomid to help me ovulate. At this time, we were excited because we have heard so many success storied on Clomid. I was to go back in in a month (yeah, this doctor was good at putting things off for a month... which was so frustrating!) to see how I responded to it and got not so great news, only one of my ovaries responded and it wasn't as good a response as they wanted.

At this point (around February 2013), my referral to this (non-military) doctor had run out and I went in to my primary doctor to get another one. Well, they sent me to a new doctor. This time it was to a fertility specialist. After investing so many months with one doctor, it was pretty scary having to switch to a new one and start all over. It turned out to be such a huge blessing and I am so thankful for being sent there. The first appointment we had, we were told that the doctor does not believe in waiting between appointments, if something doesn't work, we'll try something else. We both started with testing to see what exactly is going on, it was rough! I had a test called an HSG that was so intensely painful that during it I decided we would just adopt and that I really didn't want a baby. Well, that was the pain talking ;)

After all our testing, we set up a treatment consult for a few weeks where the doctor would explain what was wrong and tell us the best course of treatment. One of the sources of our stress at this point was treatment costs. TriCare will cover the testing for infertility, but they don't cover treatment, so up until this point we hadn't paid a dime.

Five days before our treatment consult (April 18th) I was feeling really crampy, so I took a pregnancy test just to get the negative reading and take some ibuprofen. I waited my two minutes and stared at this test for a good thirty seconds before bursting into tears. It was positive! How could that have even happened? Jason wasn't home at the time, I had him go get a bottle of wine for dinner. It was the longest 10 minutes of my life waiting for him to get home. I had a shirt made for him that says "I Love My Pregnant Wife" over a year ago and hung it over the chair so when he walked in, he saw it. He was shocked beyond belief. Neither of us expected it! Needless to say, I didn't drink any of the wine he made a special trip to get... Ok, ok, I took a TINY celebratory sip with dinner!

The next day it was confirmed by a blood test, but we were told to still attend our treatment consult just so we know what's going on with us. As we are sitting there with our doctor, he tells us that 1 in 7 get pregnant by just coming into the office and another 1 in 7 get pregnant after the HSG (super painful) test I had because it flushes out anything that could have hindered pregnancy. Then he tells us our results, I don't want to go into detail on what exactly was wrong, but in conclusion we were told we had a 1% chance to get pregnant on our own. Praise God! We were so thankful that we were already pregnant when we heard the news or it could have been devastating. I am not sure what course of treatment he would have suggested, but we are so thankful we never got that far.

During this crazy year, I had moment of fear where I would ask God why He would do something like this, but have TV shows where 16 year old girls are having babies they really didn't want in the first place. I tried everyday to put my hope and trust in the Lord because His plan is much better than my own and it really is! I feel like I learn that lesson over and over again. One verse that really helped me get through this scary time in my life was Philippians 4:7:

"Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

Even though I didn't understand why God had put us in this situation, I was at peace knowing it wasn't in my hand anyway. And look how it turned out? We were blessed with a (so far) healthy pregnancy and I can say that I've never looked forward to any other Christmas as much as this one. Best Christmas gift I could ever ask for!

1 comment:

  1. Your are such a strong woman to have gone through what you have. I couldn't imagine going through it without family around...well I can understand but not what you went through. You and Jason will be amazing parents. Congrats to you. And btw you look so gorgeous.